Frustration.

Horrible isn't it. I feel so frustrated. Not so much that I am going to sit and rip my hair out but still. I'm just getting a bit fed up with everything.

My main problem is ideas. Over the past couple of months I've had ideas for scripts and stories and in my head they make perfect sense and in a way I have planned a lot of them out. Great. However, my problem is noting them down. Not like in the jotting notes down sense but actually sitting and following up with them. My problem is that I am a horrible perfectionist when it comes to my work. If I don't like it, then I'll scrap it and start over. This is the problem. I've tried numerous times to do things with these ideas but nothing ever comes of them. I'll start writing and then for some reason, my head is arguing with me telling me to give up. I don't know why. I like some of the ideas I have and I would absolutely love to do something with them, but my head is telling me I shouldn't. I just don't know what to do. I feel like a lot of the time I am arguing against myself! It's a lose lose situation.

Another problem is work. I recently did some work for Kerrang! Radio and I loved it. I loved every minute of it. And I have been asked back to help out more which is amazing and I am glad I have these opportunities, but today I began panicking about what I'm going to do when I leave University. What if I don't get the dream job in radio that I have always wanted. What if I end up in a menial 9-5 job? this started mainly because I went out to help my Dad at his works today, which I don't mind. The work kinda sucks and is kinda boring, but I'm helping out my dad and it got me some much needed money. But as I was working, I was thinking about what if I end up doing this all the time? It's not what I want to do. The media industry is so difficult to break and I am so scared I will end up in a menial 9-5 when I leave Uni.

Just thought I'd post these thoughts. I'm sure I'll figure something out, I usually do. These are just some musings I had. Hope you all are well! :D

Lee xx

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